My Never Ending List

It was the intensity and commitment to each other.  The honestly and the hope.  The realism and the harshness of it all.  Zach finds himself in rehab but how does he get there?  He does not remember.

The dreams that haunt Zach night and day with images of blood were just glimpse of his past.  The pain that swallows him as he refuses to acknowledge the monsters, tear him apart.  It was this refusal to acknowledge his past that brings about the monsters that are trapped inside his head.  But Zach is not alone, for it seems that everyone at this rehab center is plagued with monsters.  For it takes great courage and determination to face the monsters which is something Zach needs assistance with.  With an interesting cast of fellow patients supported by their therapist Adam, these individuals need to confront their monsters so they can move forward.  Zach’s cabin has alcoholic and drug addiction issues and while reading I felt a deep connection to a few of his bunkmates.  Rafael was an older man who started keeping a journal recording his thoughts and feelings.  Not his first time in therapy,  I thought of Rafael as a thinker, a guy who knew it but just couldn’t apply it.  Rafael had his own monsters to deal with but on his own terms.  Sharkey. Oh Sharkey.  We all know the Sharkey’s in the world.  We kinda wish we had their problems until we know their stories and then we sit back and we enjoy our own lives.  It is how Zach flies in and out of these individual’s lives and how he tries to deal with his own monsters that you feel this connection to the whole team.  This desire of hope, this desire for healing… for someone to come and take away the pain that settles deep within their souls. Yet, you know you can do nothing for these individuals as the healing must come from within and as you read, you read for their healing.  For as they tell their stories, the honestly written out before you, you realize that the story is not all that complicated it is just that they need to tell it, they need to forgive themselves.  The book just pushes you forward as you want more, as the characters shed themselves. 

I thought that Zach would be more of a hard character, more bitter or a rebel since he was so young but he wasn’t.  His connection to all the characters made him fit right in and they had great transitions.  The group sessions were interesting as they were not wording and I was not lost in the conversation when a lot of them were speaking.  There were a great variety of personalities and behaviors without a huge number of characters to keep track of.   I highly recommend this book if you enjoy this subject matter.  For mature YA reader.

“I just want to sit here and get drunk on Rafael’s writing.”