My Never Ending List

She killed him, her brother Cyrus. CeCe was a smart girl, she had everything going for her and graduation was not that far off. College was in her future but now she was being held at Piedmont Juvenile Correctional Center and she has lost all hope of her future. Their mother passed away less than a year ago and with the family still grieving over her death, this tragic event just casts another dark shadow over the house.   Her brother was a soccer star and when he hurt his knee, pain meds were his answer. Father’s eyes didn’t see what CeCe saw but she noticed how her brother’s drugs consumed him and changed him. Things at home hadn’t been the same since their mother died and now, CeCe’s future plans were looking gloomy. Thinking she can finance some of her education, she quietly slips inside Cyrus’ room and takes a few of his pain meds. As she makes her first deal, selling the pain meds, CeCe has now become a drug dealer. The guilt eats away at her but the cash and the ease at which the transaction transpires do not stop the temptation. CeCe continues her money making scheme all-the-while watching her brother fade away to the world of drugs. CeCe is confronted with a lot of issues in this novel. It’s a never-ending battle, this ease of supply and demand that CeCe finds herself in. She is also battling herself with the guilt of fairness of life and worthiness. What is fair and what is she worthy of? Her brother, we don’t hear much from him but what we hear is from CeCe, he was a star that slowly started to burn out. Her father tried to be present but only in body as his movements try to keep the family moving forward.

I found it interesting the ease at which the drug transactions took place and the amount of cash that traded hands and how fast the drugs were consumed. The means that the teens obtained the drugs to sell did not surprise me; it scared me to think it was that easy.   I enjoyed the character of CeCe as she was all over the place with her emotions, with what she was thinking and I liked that she wanted to take responsibility for her actions.   CeCe was mixed up but she was hard-headed. She knew what she doing was wrong but she thought she had no other alternative, and she wanted her future. I thought it was interesting that she saw what drugs were doing to people’s lives and she tried to use them to better her own. It’s a slippery road, drug use, for the individuals who can’t see where their lives are headed and for those who are a part of their journey.