What exactly do I know about music? I have been on the receiving end of music most of my life: enjoying it, being lost in it and watching its effects. I am not a musician, I have never been one nor do I want to be one. I know that it takes discipline, patience and hard work to be a musician, things that I possess but I just don’t have the talent to be one. After reading this novel, I realize that I don’t have the tolerance nor the flexibility to be a great musician either.
This novel caught my eye based on the destructive lifestyle Marcia led as she tried to make a name for herself in the music field. I seem to gravitate towards novels of this nature and I found myself just as devoted, reading about Marcia mental health as I did about the woes of her music career. I had never phantomed what Marcia described as she waited for her career to take off. Her daily schedule, the anticipation and emotional desire to be needed and appreciated and the unknown which came from being in the field. Marcia opened up the doors to this world that I knew existed but I had never stepped through.
I think what really surprised me was that Marcia choose this field. With an empty and abused childhood, Marcia went into a field where the market was tight and were an emotional roller-coaster existed until your name has been secured in the field. This field was more difficult than I had imagined but Marica proved to be a stronger individual than she let on to be.
Her adventurous, yet toxic lifestyle began when she started music school and increased both in severity and nature as she matured. Her position waitressing at the bar, provided an outlet for her behavior. I was all for Marcia to have fun while she was going to school but she took risks which were foolish and extreme. After graduating, the wait began. A degree in music did not insure the job that she wanted, so now she had to stop and wait for someone to need her sound, to notice her talent and desire her for their concert. The wait seemed long and the emotional stress weighted heavily. Marcia did a lot of thinking and assessing, too much thinking for a person who had other issues on her mind.
Marcia issues with men, her family, relationships and drugs revolved continuously throughout the novel. I was hoping she would learn and move forward but it was like her life was on repeat and she just couldn’t move to the next phase. I enjoyed this novel more than I anticipated that I would. There were moments of bedlam, moments where her emotional being explained it all, moments where I wanted to just be her friend and moments where I could hear the music. I appreciated Marcia sharing this memoir with me and other readers.
I received a copy of this novel from a Goodreads Giveaway. Thank you to Little Brown and Company, the author and Goodreads.